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| Many boyfriends have come and gone since my last entry, none of them are really worth mentioning tho. No one spectacular yet.
The only thing that's actually worth mentioning is the fact that I haven't had sex in like 2 or 3 weeks and that is definitely not cool.
Also, today is the day after Thanksgiving and I am not shopping, that's just sad. But I am going shopping tomorrow.
I guess that's really it. Sorry, this one sucked. | | |
| Hey all!
So, yeah, I'm not with the "great guy" from the last entry. He dumped me for someone shorter, alot fatter, and ALOT more stuck up. He claims I was too young.
I met a new guy and was supposed to go out with him tonite but I have a feeling he's totally chickening out on me. I called him and sent him an im. I'm giving up. Maybe I should just give up on everyone.
I have more drama in my life than I've ever had before and in the end it amounts to everyone wanting me to kick this girl, Erin's, ass. It's difficult to explain to these type of people that I don't believe in physical violence, having endured much of it myself and realizing that it is painful in many many ways.
And now, on top of all this drama with my friends, I have a pretty good feeling I'm gonna get stood up tonite.
And someone told me I was gaining weight today.
And the apartment is nowhere near fixed up.
So basically, cancel out everything in my last post and make it the exact opposite.
Ugh. | | |
| I am doin pretty damn good if I may say so myself.
I'm moving out within the month.
I have lots of nice friends.
I met an awesome guy.
Losing weight.
Moving Out: I moving into a really old apartment that hasn't been lived in since the late 70's. It's gonna be awesome. Should be finshed de-tackifying it by the end of the month.
Also it will be great to have a little freedom. I'll be able to have the new guy I'm dating spend the night all the time, have my friends over whenever I want, basically do whatever I want.
New Friends: When I was with Chuck I didn't make much of an effort to make new friends because I never had time for the few that I already had in Michigan.
But now I'm making the effort and have lots of new friends. One is actually gonna move in with me into the new place.
Great New Guy: The friend who is moving in with me soon has an awesomely hot older brother, who's 6'5 by the way! And he's really sweet and crazy about me. And he is really awesome at the things we've done so far, but that's not too much cuz I'm taking it slow this time. Not going to form any false attachments because of sex like I've done in the past.
Not to mention the fact that his sister is like my best friend at this school and he is really close with her so I get to hear everything he says about me. This sorta gives me the upper hand in things.
Losing Weight: This is the one most people are not too excited to hear. But I am determined to be able to model in NYC next year and I'm gonna do whatever it takes. I just need to ease up on the big macs.
Does anyone know what phen phen and ephedrin do? I found some old diet pills in this apartment and am wondering if I'm gonna have a heart attack or something if I take them. Leave a comment if you have any info that I might not know. | | |
| I am having a REALLY bad weekend.
Got socked in the face by this guy. Yeah. That sucked.
Was supposed to go out with a friend on Saturday but got canceled on and so I ended up staying home and watching freddy vs. Jason and then had nightmares with guys with no heads. Although I actually have those all the time. All of a sudden the guy wont have a head and I have to talk to them like they still do and I don't know where to look and stuff like that. I think it has something to do with the fact that most the guys I talk to are brainless and once I discover this fact I have to act like they're not cuz I can't be mean and say, Look, you have nothing to offer me. You are a terrible conversationalist and make me want to slap you to see if you're this slow in every scenario I present to you.
Wow, that was kind of mean wasn't it? Oh well. I'm not too happy with guys right now anyways. They're all abusive assholes and think that they can do whatever the fuck they want. Ugh. I gotta go. Sick of bitching for now. | | |
| I think that the sadest thing in life is wanting to skip over some of it, yet this is the situation I'm finding myself in.
I am sick of being in highschool, but scared of the next few years and what they will bring. Because I have broken way too many mirrors in my lifetime or something and always seem to have bad luck. I doubt my bad luck will end just because I'm no longer in high school.
I want to fast forward to the time when I'm settled, have a home and someone who loves me. I think that that is what I miss most about Chuck, I always knew that there was another person on this earth that loved me and wanted me. Until the end of course, when he kept playing hide and go seek with love, or whatever he was doing.
But now, I am alone. I have no one who loves me but my dog. And that's just sad.
I think this is why so many women have children to fill the voids in their lives. Everyone just wants somebody who needs them, and there's no promise ever that a man or woman will always love you. But your kids have to love you for the rest of your life no matter how bad of a parent you are. No matter how many mistakes you make.
It also feels more significant to have a human being love you rather than a dog.
Ugh, I sound so pathetic right now that I cannot even bring myself to continue this xanga. | | |
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